You wake up in the morning and you have that feeling in your stomach. Like you have lost or are missing something. Normally you would get up and start thinking what it could be, but when you move you know exactly what it is you are missing. It’s that person that you have lost and never got the chance to say goodbye to. The pain cuts deep and it feels like it’s working its way out of your body, trying to break free. Your sleeping habits are upside down and the tears never stop. It hurts. It hurts so bad that you start praying, praying that you will get the magical power to turn the clocks back. You start to believe in things you never did before.
But nothing can change what has happened and you have to come to terms with your loss. You have to have faith that they can still hear you and although you didn’t say those last words to them, they can hear them all now and will be there to listen every day. You cry so much sometimes that you can’t breathe. The thought of never having that person in your life again is just unthinkable, you can’t think about that right now. So you start thinking about all the things you should have said. All the times you sat at home doing nothing, instead of being with that person. When now, you would walk to the end of the earth and back again if it meant you could just see them again. Just for a minute. Just long enough to say “I love you. I miss you”.
But regret will deepen your grief and you won’t move forward. You just have to keep that thought, that they will be there watching over you every day. They will know exactly how you are feeling. It’s still hard. Every time you leave the house you think you see them and for a split second you forget that person is no longer there. No longer visibly with you, just mentally. Sometimes you can hear their voice. It’s the images you keep in your head, the memories that you have, these are what then, get you through. Just the thought of going to sleep, dreaming about them, makes you feel closer to them. You start your day thinking about what journey you went through in your dream together. You end the day wondering what tonight’s dream will be.
But it keeps you going. You keep looking forward, never back. You store the great memories you had and you won’t forget them. Sometimes the pain does still get intense and there are times when you need that person back in your life, more than anything. But you stay strong because deep down you know that nothing can bring that person back. And then you start thinking. You think about the people you do have in your life. Do you tell them you love them enough? Would you live in regret if one day you woke up and they were no longer there? You cannot live your lives in what if?? Past or present. But you can think about those around you, those people you love. Would they know how you feel if you weren’t there to tell them??
Grief and loss do get easier but only through your reactions and emotions. Living your life in regret will never help. You will find you are forever running from it and it won’t go away until you deal with it. How about trying to cut the regret side out and just being able to deal with your grief? I love my Nan and I know she loved me. Too much time was lived in regret I created, when she was no longer here. Instead of living in the memories, which we created together.
But nothing can change what has happened and you have to come to terms with your loss. You have to have faith that they can still hear you and although you didn’t say those last words to them, they can hear them all now and will be there to listen every day. You cry so much sometimes that you can’t breathe. The thought of never having that person in your life again is just unthinkable, you can’t think about that right now. So you start thinking about all the things you should have said. All the times you sat at home doing nothing, instead of being with that person. When now, you would walk to the end of the earth and back again if it meant you could just see them again. Just for a minute. Just long enough to say “I love you. I miss you”.
But regret will deepen your grief and you won’t move forward. You just have to keep that thought, that they will be there watching over you every day. They will know exactly how you are feeling. It’s still hard. Every time you leave the house you think you see them and for a split second you forget that person is no longer there. No longer visibly with you, just mentally. Sometimes you can hear their voice. It’s the images you keep in your head, the memories that you have, these are what then, get you through. Just the thought of going to sleep, dreaming about them, makes you feel closer to them. You start your day thinking about what journey you went through in your dream together. You end the day wondering what tonight’s dream will be.
But it keeps you going. You keep looking forward, never back. You store the great memories you had and you won’t forget them. Sometimes the pain does still get intense and there are times when you need that person back in your life, more than anything. But you stay strong because deep down you know that nothing can bring that person back. And then you start thinking. You think about the people you do have in your life. Do you tell them you love them enough? Would you live in regret if one day you woke up and they were no longer there? You cannot live your lives in what if?? Past or present. But you can think about those around you, those people you love. Would they know how you feel if you weren’t there to tell them??
Grief and loss do get easier but only through your reactions and emotions. Living your life in regret will never help. You will find you are forever running from it and it won’t go away until you deal with it. How about trying to cut the regret side out and just being able to deal with your grief? I love my Nan and I know she loved me. Too much time was lived in regret I created, when she was no longer here. Instead of living in the memories, which we created together.
very deep.
ReplyDeletemade me think a bit more about people we've all lost
its sensible words that make u realise that your still alive and you have to live and keep in memory the good times of people we lost...i like it yannick antoinette xx
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