Sunday, 29 March 2009

Still not smoking..

Just a quick update. i still have not smoked, it has been 10 days now. It did start getting a little bit hard around the 5th and 6th day and i have felt quite rough on the tablets. but i have worked through it and feel a lot better for it. Still a bit of a struggle most days, there is at least one point in the day where i think, i could have a ciggarette right now but i work through it and make sure i don't! I do need to keep strong and make sure i don't make up any excuse that will allow me to fall back in the habit of smoking again!


Type rest of the post here
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Saturday, 21 March 2009



I had my last cigarette Wednesday night about 7 o clock and have not smoked since. I got up Thursday morning and thought let’s see how we go today. Each day since then I have woke up and thought I’ve gone 1 day, why not go another. This is the longest I have ever gone without smoking and I feel like I have achieved something, so everyday I feel a little bit better by not smoking again. I increased my dose of tablets on Thursday and if I am honest, they have made me feel really quite sick but as the day goes on, they wear off. I am now working with my own will-power to keep it up. I feel I have come this far, so why not keep going!

It is a lot easier then I thought it would be, although I don’t know if the tablets are having that effect on me. I do still have some cravings, today was the first time but I worked through it. Generally by eating. But hey, I could do with a little extra weight.

So just a quick update. Again thank you so much everyone for all the comments and I do keep reading them every day. Especially people who were once smokers and have proved they can do it; they have given me positive reassurance that I can do this.
Thank you to everyone.
Jen x Read More......

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Are you ready to QUIT?? Part Two

Firstly I want to say thank you to everybody who emailed me or left comments supporting me in giving up smoking. It was so nice to read them. It is now day 7 of taking the tablets. I am near my quit day which is Friday and if I am honest, I am finding it extremely hard now. Although I do think I have done extremely well, even if I say so myself! I can stick to my 2 a day, maybe 3, which is a huge drop from 20 day! I am just trying really hard to kick those last few. I am already feeling better for it, still eating a rather large amount but I know that will calm down. I can enjoy the taste of food a lot more and already feel a lot healthier walking to work without a cigarette in my hand. It does not bother me being around people who are smoking, that is not what entices me to smoke those last few. The smell of smoke turns my stomach quite a bit now. I am no longer feeling sick on the tablets but when I am smoking, I just can’t taste it, resulting in me not enjoying it. The after taste is also not very nice.

I am finding it a struggle now but just keep telling myself the benefits of giving up smoking. The holiday I want to go on, I will be able to pay in just 3 months of not smoking! I also think about how much healthier I will be. There are so many reasons not to smoke; outweighing the one reason I am smoking, through habit. My dose increases tomorrow from 0.5mg twice daily, to 1.0mg twice daily, so I know it can only get easier from then. As long as I have my positive thinking going at the same time. I haven’t really experienced any side effects still, apart from being a little touchy now and then, but who’s not!

Keeping busy is a great way to take your mind of smoking. It’s often through boredom that I find myself smoking lots. I’m finding it easier not to smoke in the day at work, than when I am home at night time. However I am spending a lot of time writing (as you can probably tell) and even drawing (I can’t draw for the life of me!) just to keep busy. It is also something I enjoy doing, so not making it a chore to replace smoking.

Thank you all again for your support and everyone who is around me for putting up with a little bit of moodiness (Calvin especially) and I will keep you posted. Again if you have any questions, send them my way. Wish me luck......
Jen x

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Monday, 16 March 2009

Are you ready to QUIT??

Anybody who is a smoker or was a smoker, knows how hard it is to try and break the habit. I have been smoking for 6 years now and I am on 20 a day. Last week I decided I no longer want to smoke and whilst down my doctors, decided to get some advice. I have tried giving up before, purely through will power and have not succeeded, so I had to admit defeat and ask for help. (Which I now know, there is nothing wrong in doing that). Anybody who smokes and is seriously considering giving up, I would advise you to continue reading and follow me through my journey.

When I went to my doctors last Wednesday night I attended a quick smoking meeting; open to anybody, no hassle, no pressure. Here I filled out a form and spoke to my own doctor. I took a carbon monoxide test. It came back showing that 5% of all my blood is being filled with carbon monoxide and travelling around my body aimlessly. I decided this MUST stop. My doctor prescribed me these tablets called Champix. I had never heard of them, and was intrigued by what they are supposed to do. They are not a miracle drug but simply help you on your way to quit smoking. Starting the tablets the very next day and continuing to take them for 14 days. You are expected to quit between day 8 and 14 of taking the tablets, and I was told most people don’t smoke past the 7th day! But you have to have the will power to want to do this.
At first I moaned about having to pay £7.10 for a prescription every 2 weeks but then realised I will happily spend £5 a day on a box of cigarettes. I soon piped down!

There are possible side effects; the main 1 is the feeling of nausea. However this is not intense, although it varies in people. I looked up the tablets on Google as soon as I got home and read some bad reports about side effects but read just as many good to balance it out. I was determined not to let the ‘horror’ stories put me off before I had even started taking the tablets. I am now on day 5 of my tablets and the dose increased to two tablets a day yesterday. I generally only feel sick when I smoke, which is 1 of the effects the tablets are suppose to have. I was on 20 a day and I am already down to around 3 a day. I do not get the cravings I did and when i do want to smoke, I do not enjoy the taste of them. I am also very reluctant to get in my car, which smells like an ashtray, anymore! I am finding it hard to kick the last few cigarettes I am smoking. That first thing in the morning smoke and last thing at night. But the dose of the tablets goes up again next week and I have set my quit date as the 9th day of taking them, which is this Friday.

I am not saying these tablets are a miracle and will stop anyone smoking but they are meant to be the most effective way of quitting. I really enjoyed smoking and for me to feel this way after 5 days of taking these tablets, I think is pretty amazing. I don’t like relying on tablets and I do not feel I am. I don’t feel if I was to miss a tablet that I would go back to smoking the amount I did. You are on tablets for a few months afterwards but that is just to help you. I will admit that since I have cut down, I have not stopped eating but it is finding something to fill that gap. So you just have to stick with it, and work out what is best for you. My mum is doing it at the same time as me, and we are both reacting differently to how we are going about stopping. But still finding the tablets effective, in a positive way.

But you really do have to have the want and will power to be able to follow this through. I believe everybody who wants to can; it just takes a little help. I will keep this updated throughout the next few weeks, to let people know how I am doing. It is great to be able to share with people, and if anybody has any questions about the tablets or giving up smoking, please feel free to contact me. Hope i have been of some help. Wish me luck....
Jen x
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Monday, 9 March 2009

Online Mag

Hi everybody,

here is a link to an online magazine which my partner has put together. There is a mixture of graphics and articles to view. I have also featured in an article in the magazine. Take 5 minutes out to have a read and pass on to anybody you think will enjoy it.

jen x Read More......

Friday, 6 March 2009

Another Language?

So you wake up late for work, your alarm hasn’t gone off this morning. “Shit, I’m going to miss the 7.30 train. Fucking alarm clock.”

You hear swearing on a daily basis, from the beginning till the end of the day. On your journey to college, at work, when you get back home, everywhere. It’s part of everyday life but why do we swear? And why do we swear so much? It is not something we are taught but we learn swearing regardless and develop a rather large vocabulary in it!! Swearing is generally used in anger or to let frustration out. It is often used in replacement of showing emotions which maybe you don’t like to show. If you hit your head and it really hurt, you wouldn’t generally cry but say “fuck that hurt!” It’s a release for adults, like crying is for children. As you get older swearing becomes a natural part of your life and you don’t even realise you are doing it most of the time!

When you are younger and you first start swearing, it is generally seen as being “cool” or a “taboo”. Something you hear your parents or adults casually saying. But as you mature it becomes more of a habit. Hearing it in social events with friends, when grabbing a quick pint after work and more than anything, in the work place. How many swear words do you hear in a normal day at work? The place where, you generally feel the most stress throughout your day. Although it may not be accepted in the work place, there’s always that cigarette break or lunch to catch up! Swearing also emphasises what you are trying to say. If you are in an argument and trying to get your point acknowledged, swearing often shows passion in what you are saying and frustration in what you are trying to get across.

Take a sentence from an argument you most recently had or a conversation which involved swearing. Was it quite intense? Now take that sentence and repeat it, removing all the swear words from it. Did it have the same impact? Did you feel like you had got your point across?

Some researchers believe men swear to create a masculine identity and women swear to be more like men. However, I am sure a lot of women will argue that statement! So is swearing acceptable? Swearing has been around for many centuries, and as times change, so does the acceptability of many swear words. Also, so does the view we take towards women swearing. In many countries, women swearing is frowned upon, and seen as socially incorrect. It is more of a taboo for women to swear, than it is for men. However living in England, we all know that women swear just as frequently as men, sometimes more.

So how does our brain process swearing? Apparently in most people the left part of the brain processes language and the right side deals with emotions. The lower part brain functions, such as emotion and instinct are thought to be where swearing is also processed. This takes place deep inside the brain. These words are stored as whole words and do not need the left part of the brain to process these words. This makes these words easier to remember and not need much thought in saying them, so is easier for them to just “roll” of your tongue and become part of your language.

There are some instances which create different reactions to swearing. To people who have a form of Aphasia, swearing can become their only speech. Aphasia is where you become unable to comprehend a language or the ability to process words, due to certain parts of the brain being damaged. Because swearing is remembered as whole words, it can become part of automatic speech in these cases. Coprolalia is the medical term for uncontrollable swearing and is a symptom of Tourettes.

Knowing how the brain stores swear words and how frequently we use these words, it somehow seems part of another language to us. A language that everybody understands but uses in different ways. The two most common words used are “fuck” and “shit”.

Apparently, the word shit originally stands for Ship High In Transit. When manure was shipped and left for a long time it would let off a smell, which was created through the process of fermentation. This became highly flammable, which is why the initials S.H.I.T were stamped on it. When people asked what the smell was, it was shortened to shit. Hence the saying “it smells like shit!”

As for the word fuck, although there are many words in the English dictionary beginning with the letter F, this is the only word described as ‘the F word’. There are lots of different stories of where this word originated from including it coming from the German word fliechen, which means ‘to strike’. The term fuck is used as an adjective, adverb, noun and many more. This word is used so many times throughout the day and is the most commonly used swear word.

What is your interpretation of swearing? What do you think of it? Asking around I found out some different views to what people think of swearing.

“Swearing is so common but only really becomes something when I hear children, under 10yrs old who are meant to be innocent, using swear words. When I hear a kid swear I instantly think that child comes from a bad family. Why are they not "allowed" to use them when we use them so freely? Some people use swear words like commas and full stops. Swearing is a lazy way of speaking, replacing words with swear words to save you thinking of a more appropriate one”.

“I usually assume people that swear a lot are not very articulate and swear for lack of knowledge or breadth of vocabulary, but that isn't always the case. It can be just down to laziness”.

“Certain swear words become part of a saying and somehow become acceptable, like "what the fuck" when someone says that I don't even register the word "fuck" as a swear. Also the word fuck is a derogatory word for people having sex but in the terms it is used in now it has totally lost its meaning and has become a replacement for x amount of words in the English language. What I find funny is that now it hasn't really got a meaning anymore, people still totally understand what you mean when using it consecutively”.

“Swearing has become a way for me to release anger. When using certain swear words to describe how I’m feeling, it somehow feels like people can understand me more and feels more in touch with how I am feeling”.
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